Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
