can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
