He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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