My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
