i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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