3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
