She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
