don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
