Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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