she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
