I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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