and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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