nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
