is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
