Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
