wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
