i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize