I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I need to calm my uterus...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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