Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
