Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
