You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
