aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
