Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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