My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
