do herpes really smell.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
