I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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