I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Randomize
