No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
