he shaved USA in his pubs
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
