somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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