people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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