you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
