forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
