just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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