My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
