did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think i got beer on your cat.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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