i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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