it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
