are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
