i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
