you traded sex for a burrito?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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