You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
