I should be sponsored by Trojan
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
3 2 1 whiskey
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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