you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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