if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm really busy with my period
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