that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
