It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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