I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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