none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm passing your future prison.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
