dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
