Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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