Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
