I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
