Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
