I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
