So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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