Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
