I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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