It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
