so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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