in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
