We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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