I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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