I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize